Gold, frankincense and myrrh were prepared by the three magi for the coming King and delivered to the Infant King in a manger. The significant and valuable gifts point to a King worthy to be worshipped above all others who, through a love that surpasses knowledge, would willingly lay down His righteous life as the propitiation for our sins. While I don’t know if the magi understood the full significance of the gifts they gave, they were truly gifts fit for a king.

Between the circumstances under which I grew up and the lies of Satan, I lived under the deception and distortion that I wasn’t good enough and was unwanted. In an attempt to compensate for those personal perceptions, I became a perfectionistic doer and performed in order to gain others’ acceptance and love. As an insecure, introverted, task-oriented achiever, I took pride in doing things and doing them well. If, however, doubt in my abilities or the final outcome prevailed, pride prevented risking the embarrassment of failure.

Being a perfectionist personality type, I tend to be very task oriented. I feel really good about myself when I can check off all the boxes on my to-do list. Usually having a to-do list is super motivating for me. On the other hand, I sometimes find myself questioning my worth, so to speak, when I haven’t checked all the boxes and my tasks remain incomplete. God and I have been having some conversations about that recently.

There was a time in my life when I thought I had lost my joy. I was desperately searching for it but could not figure out where to find it and how to get it back. I was doing everything I possibly could to be the good Christian woman I knew God wanted and expected me to be. I was serving in full-time ministry, tithing, witnessing to others, involved in worship ministry, reading God’s Word regularly, praying multiple times throughout each day, and yet I had no joy in my walk.